Candytricks and Sugartreats
by Misura
Summary: Or: What to do when your boyfriend wants to dress up and go trick or treating. [a collection of Halloween ficlets][ch2 OtogiHonda]
1. BakuraRyou

Candytricks and sugartreats

x

Warnings/notes: Bakura/Ryou, hinted Yami/Yugi/Anzu, slightly ooc.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 26th october 2006, by Misura

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"And I still don't understand why I can't just -take- the candy," Bakura complained, after yet another old woman who'd thrown one look at Bakura's outfit, frowned at Ryou and, after half a minute, reluctantly deposited one toffee in their bag. "I mean, she had a whole bowl full! She could at least have given us two of them!"

"I don't like toffees all that much anyway," Ryou said meekly. "You can have it."

"Oh, that makes it all right then! What, do you think she could read your mind? Do you think she took one look at you and knew right away that you didn't like toffees? Do you?" Bakura demanded.

"Well, no, I suppose not, but - " Ryou started.

"Of course not! She's just some greedy mortal who doesn't respect the spirit of Holloween! You should let me send her to the Shadow Realm!" Bakura nodded his head.

"Halloween," Ryou said.

"What does it matter what it's called?" Bakura made a dismissive gesture. "People like her deserve to be punished! I bet you even the Pharaoh would say that!"

"Yugi won't allow Yami to go trick-or-treating anymore," Ryou reminded Bakura.

"Hah. The Pharaoh's so completely whipped!" Bakura looked slightly cheered up at the idea, and Ryou cautiously congratulated himself on having been successful in getting Bakura's mind off the sending to the Shadow Realm of basically innocent and harmless old ladies. "What did he do, anyway? I asked him, but he said he didn't want to talk about it, and then you said I shouldn't pick on him, which was completely unfair, by the way, because I was only asking a question."

"Yugi says he played a Shadow Game with someone who picked 'trick' instead of 'treat'," Ryou said, reasoning that this information couldn't do any great deal of harm.

"They can do that?" Bakura sounded interested. "I mean, I guess they can, because you do ask them 'trick or treat?' but I thought that was just some sort of ritual, like Joey asking Kaiba if he'd rather shut up by himself, or let Joey do it for him."

"Most people pick 'treat'," Ryou said. "It's easier. I believe the 'trick' is supposed to be connected to your disguise; you have to stay in-character, so to speak."

"Hm-hm." Bakura looked pensive. "So if someone picks 'trick', it'd be okay for me to steal all their valuables, eat all their food and sell their women and children as slaves?"

"No." Ryou sighed.

"But, Ryou, I'm dressed as an Ancient Egyptian King of Thieves!" Bakura protested. "They should be grateful I don't set their houses on fire, too!"

"Firstly, our bag isn't big enough to carry any valuables," Ryou said, having learned from experience that it was little use to appeal to Bakura's sense of right and wrong. "Our television works quite well, and we don't need another DVD-player, computer or toaster." In fact, there were several toasters and DVD-players hidden in the basement, after they'd mysteriously vanished out of several households in their neighborhood. The police hadn't been able to find any traces of the thief, commented on how unusual it was for a criminal not to take any creditcards, and given up the search. Ryou hadn't felt up to fabricating some excuse to give them back, so he'd just soothed his conscience by telling himself toasters weren't that expensive.

"Secondly," Ryou continued, before Bakura could point out a solution to the small-bag-problem, "it's a Saturday, so the shops will be closed tomorrow. If you eat their food, they'll starve."

"That old witch deserved to starve!" Bakura muttered. "Although I bet she didn't have any good food around anyway."

Ryou didn't think there was anything he could say to that. "Thirdly," he ploughed on, "slavery is illegal nowadays. Besides, you were a thief. I thought you told me you only stole things, not people."

"No, no, I meant that I never kidnapped anyone and held them for ransom." Bakura shook his head. "That's just way too much trouble. I mean, imagine taking care of someone who doesn't even like you for days and days, and making sure he doesn't escape either. No amount of money's worth that!"

"You mean you did sell people into slavery?" Ryou asked, appalled.

"They were slaves already!" Bakura defended himself. "All I did was take them away from one master and sell them to another. Most of them were better off that way - well, some of them, at least. And I also allowed a few to join my band of thieves. And I only did it once."

"Oh," Ryou said weakly.

"If you want to blame anyone for making people slaves, you should look at the Pharaoh. Why do you think the Sennen Rod can turn a person into a mindless puppet? I'll give you a hint: it's not because the rulers of Egypt disapproved of slavery." Bakura snorted. "Bunch of hypocrites!"

"Uhm, doesn't this look like a good house to try again?" Ryou said, not entirely happy with the turn the conversation had taken. He'd studied Ancient Egypt, of course - his father owned hundreds of books on the subject - but Bakura's stories tended to make everything sound a lot grimmer and less civilized than the books made it out to be.

"Are those pumpkins supposed to be scary?" Bakura scoffed, appearing to be willing enough to drop the subject of Pharaohs and slaves for something a little closer to the here and now.

"It just shows that these people have gotten into the right mood." Ryou put on his best winning smile and prayed that he'd be proven right, and that they'd get a bit more here than one toffee.

"Bakura?" The door was opened even before Ryou could ring the doorbell.

"Anzu?" Ryou wasn't sure if he ought to be relieved or disappointed. "I didn't know this was your house."

"Just give them their candy and get back to the living room, so that I can - oh, it's you." Yami glowered at Bakura, who glowered back. "Tombrobber."

"Hi, Bakura!" Yugi, of course, wasn't far behind his other half, although his expression was much more friendly. "Have you collected a lot of candy already?"

"Not a lot, but some." Ryou held up the mostly empty bag.

"People sure are frugal around here," Bakura added, not looking away from Yami.

"Maybe they just don't feel like giving any candy to thieves," Yami suggested.

"While these two guys have a staring contest, why don't you come in for some hot chocolate?" Anzu proposed to Ryou. "It's a bit chilly out there, isn't it?"

"Thank you," Ryou said. "It is, yes."

"Are you cold?" Bakura turned his head to stare at Ryou. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Hah. Is that what you call 'taking care' of your host?" Yami sneered. "Letting him catch a cold by dragging him around on a cold winter's night without any scarf or warm jacket?"

"What are you suggesting, Pharaoh?" Bakura narrowed his eyes.

"Have you ever noticed how some people don't seem to be able to walk into the same room without starting a fight?" Yugi asked Ryou.

"Rather childish, if you ask me," Anzu declared. "I mean, even -Joey- has grown out of that. More or less."

"He and Kaiba have become rather good friends, haven't they?" Ryou said. "They always seem to be together. We went past Joey's apartment earlier, but there was nobody at home."

"I will say this for Kaiba: at least he makes sure Joey actually studies." Anzu sighed. "I just wish he'd be a bit more social about it. He could drop by at the game-shop sometimes - instead of just dropping off Joey there before going on to work."

"Can we continue this conversation inside?" Bakura inquired. "There's someone in danger of catching a cold, and unlike -some- people, I'm not too self-centered to think of anyone except myself."

"Self-centered?" Yami bristled. "Me?"

"I've baked pumpkin-pie." Anzu beamed at Ryou. "Yugi says it's turned out very well, but I'd like to hear your opinion, too. It's a new recipe, and I'm really not sure about it."

"Pumpkin-pie sounds delicious," Ryou said politely, allowing Bakura to shove him inside.

"Maybe we should drop by at Kaiba's house later on," Bakura mused. "He's rich, so he should have lots of good candy. Do you know where he lives?"

"I'm -not- self-centered!" Yami stated. "I'm not!"

"Kaiba's mansion is practically on the other side of town," Anzu told Bakura. "Sorry. Have some pumpkin-pie, and stop sneaking candybars into your pockets when you think I'm not looking.."

OWARI


	2. OtogiHonda

Candytricks and sugartreats

xx

Warnings/notes: Otogi/Honda, hinted Kaiba/Joey, slightly ooc.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 26th october 2006, by Misura

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tell me again why we're doing this?" Honda groaned, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Well, -I-'m doing this because I think it'll be fun." Otogi grinned at him. "You ... well, I guess you're just one of those nice guys who do things because their boyfriends want them to."

"Huh." Honda stared at his reflection again. He thought he looked like an idiot - maybe not quite as bad as Joey had looked in his dog-suit, but close. "Can I still change my mind about being a nice guy?"

"No." Otogi sighed and rolled his eyes. "Really, Honda, what's your problem? Lots of people would be downright thrilled at getting to spend a whole evening with me. Although I'm still not sure about this eye-patch ... my eyes simply are too pretty to hide one of them."

"Why didn't you ask someone else then?" Honda muttered. He knew he could (and should) have simply said 'no' the first time Otogi suggested they'd go trick-or-treating on Halloween; Otogi'd probably have pouted for a week, but in the end, he'd simply get over it. Maybe then Honda could have talked him into watching a scary movie at Otogi's apartment, just to stay in the mood of the holiday. Otogi got scared easily - sort of like a girl, really, although Honda made very sure to never tell him that.

"Oh bother. I'm sure there were pirates without eye-patches or wooden legs." Otogi carelessly tossed the eye-patch on the couch, where three other outfits he'd proposed for Honda to wear were lying already. "If anybody asks, I'll simply say I'm so good with my sabre that nobody's managed to poke out one of my eyes yet."

"It's a cutlass, not a sabre," Honda corrected him.

"Who cares?" Otogi drew the weapon - it was a plastic imitation, of course, even if Honda'd already discovered that that didn't mean it couldn't do any damage when Otogi wielded it. Luckily, they'd been in Otogi's apartment; Honda's parents were freaked out enough by the fact that Otogi wasn't a girl. Honda suspected they'd likely ground him for the rest of his life if he'd have to explain that his boyfriend had broken his mom's favorite vase when trying out a Halloween-costume.

As far as Honda's parents knew, he was over at Yugi's to watch a movie. He'd given them Joey's cellphone-number, just because he knew Yugi couldn't lie if his life depended on it, and Joey still owed him for the last time Honda'd let him borrow his history-notes.

"Why can't I go as a pirate, too?" Honda inquired. What he was currently wearing had seemed like the lesser evil - he certainly didn't intend to risk getting caught in a Funny Bunny-costume, or, worse, a Cyber Commander-suit - but it still wasn't great.

"Because I'm a pirate already." Otogi shrugged. "Besides, you knew three weeks ago that you'd need to dress up. It's not my fault you forgot to pick an outfit that met with your complete approval."

Actually, Honda had hoped that if he 'forgot' about the costume, he'd be able to wriggle out of this whole thing. He should have known Otogi's plans wouldn't be so easily thwarted though - for all of his talk about luck, Otogi seemed to leave little to chance.

"I look like an idiot in this thing!" Honda complained.

"The better to show off your boyfriend's beauty." Otogi grinned. "Not that you could ever hope to look good next to me, of course. Just think of yourself as the comic relief. I'll charm the girls, and you can make them laugh. We'll make a perfect team."

"What girls?" Honda asked. Otogi still had a lot of fangirls, and his having hooked up with Honda hadn't changed their hanging on his every word, or swooning whenever he so much as glanced in their direction. Honda'd called them 'weird', Otogi had smacked him for being 'jealous', and several girls had burst out crying at the sight of their beloved Otogi getting into an argument with his boyfriend. Honda had limited himself to complaining about Otogi's fangirls in private after that.

"The girls who hand out the candy!" Otogi rolled his eyes. "Think, Honda! Their little brothers will all be out to go trick-or-treating, and their parents are far too lazy to answer the door every five minutes. So who gets stuck with the duty of giving sweets to snotty little kids who look like monsters?"

"You're crazy," Honda said. Well, he guessed that Otogi did have a point; Honda remembered that his big sister had usually been the one to guard the bowl with candy on Halloween. Still, it was ridiculous to present this whole trick-or-treat thing as some sort of opportunity to get to meet new girls.

Otogi was taken, after all, and he already had more fangirls than his Dungeon Dice Monsters-arena had room for. Honda didn't see why Otogi would want or need to meet more girls.

"All night long, they get pestered by kids who look and act just like their little brothers, and then, like a blessing of Lady Fortune, there's us. Two handsome guys of their own age. I bet we'll collect more candy than anyone else." Otogi rubbed his hands.

"So ... we're doing this for the candy?" Honda felt slightly mollified by that 'two handsome guys'; enough to let that 'blessing of Lady Fortune' slide by without comment.

"Honda," Otogi gave him a pitying look, "what -else- could we be doing this for? This isn't some sort of joke, you know. This is a battle, a competition, survival of the fittest and all that. It's serious."

"To you, anyway." Honda grimaced. Joey might complain about Kaiba obsessing over eating healthy and getting good grades (or at least better grades than Yugi), but Otogi was just as bad, in his own way.

"Do you, or do you not want to play the latest Final Fantasy-game three months before it's officially released?" Otogi crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, yes, sure, but what does that - " Honda began.

"Then stop whining and start getting in the right mood," Otogi interrupted him. "Kaiba Corp.'s security's too good for even me to hack, so unless I win this little bet I made with Mokuba, I'm going to have to wait another three months, like every ordinary fool with a computer."

"Mokuba has - " Honda started, only to be cut off by Otogi again.

"Yes, he does. It's not like Kaiba can refuse him anything. Which, by the by, doesn't go for Joey, so you can forget about asking your best buddy for a sneak-peek. Kaiba's too much of a professional to allow his private life to harm his business - which is a pity, because otherwise, I could have just seduced him and gotten access to all of Kaiba Corp.'s secret files that way." Otogi sighed mournfully.

"Sometimes, I really do wonder why I put up with you," Honda informed him.

"Sometimes, I wonder the same." Otogi offered him a dazzling smile. "But then I remember that I am, after all, the most charming, handsome and greatest guy you'll ever meet, so I actually don't have anything to worry about, do I?"

OWARI


End file.
